Anal Sex Guide - Bottoming 101
The age-old question: ‘How to Bottom?’ The first and most important step—breathe. Literally and figuratively. The idea of “bottoming”, i.e. being on the receiving end of anal sex, can be intimidating on multiple levels. But it doesn’t need to be. Prepping for anal sex can help alleviate a lot of the stressful factors and make the experience incredible. Preparation like: diet and high fiber, practice, communication, and lube. Lots of lube.
Why do people like bottoming?
For most bottoms, having anal sex feels amazing! However, it just depends on the person and what feels good for them. Some people only like to be fingered, some enjoy penetration and some like even more. It feels so pleasurable because between 2-3 inches inside of the anus sits the prostate, a walnut-sized gland. And, when stimulated correctly, can heighten orgasms. With the combination of the nerve endings surrounding the anus and rectum and the stimulation of the prostate, this can lead to intense pleasure.
This is where practice and communication come into play. No one is a pro bottom the first time they bottom and there are several ways to ease into it. The best and possibly easiest way to test the waters is by trying it on yourself by fingering. That way, as you start to play or add a second finger, you begin to learn what feels good. Or, what doesn’t. Starting slow and gradually opening up to more things—no pun intended—will make the experience all the more enjoyable.
Does Bottoming Hurt?
Even if someone is a pro at bottoming, if something is inserted too fast or without the sufficient amount of lube, it is going to hurt. So, when asked if bottoming hurts, if done correctly, it shouldn’t. The key is taking a slow and healthy approach. Foreplay is a great way to help relax the muscles around the anus to allow a more pleasurable experience. Breathing and kissing are two great ways at taking the mind off of the initial moment and relaxing as well. We’re so used to having the muscles around our sphincter clenched throughout the day that they sometimes need to be trained to relax on demand. This would allow for a much more comfortable and enjoyable time when using toys, the real thing, or even fists and beyond.
There is never too much lube when it comes to prepping to bottom! Especially when you’re new to bottoming. For anal sex, silicone lube is recommended. It’s hard to find something that beats its slickness. Though, one con of using silicone is that it will stain sheets and lingers on surfaces and body parts. Water based lube tends to need to be reapplied far more often but doesn’t stain. However, both silicone and water-based lubes are latex condom safe, compared to oil-based lubes. Oil based lubes (think coconut oil) are just as slippery as silicone, but usually have a more appealing aroma and are natural.
When using toys, stick to using water-based lubes or toy-safe lube. Silicone has been known to warp certain types of silicone toys.
Prepping for anal sex
Like everything else, this step is dependent on listening to your body. A major step in prepping is diet. Some foods are better for bottoming than others. Fruits and vegetables are easy to pinpoint because they are high in fiber. What makes fiber so important? Why is fiber always brought up when talking about bottoming? Fiber helps to produce more together, even stools that leave less residue behind when cleaning out. Compared to foods like red meat which are greasy and oily and lead to things becoming messier to clean. Which just means more time would need to go into preparation.
Fiber supplements are a simple and easy way to get fiber into your body. Pure for Men Stay Ready can upgrade your preparation. By using a high-quality supplement that is specifically designed for the clean-out process, you can bottom more confidently while making prep time quick and easy. They are designed to work like a sponge and leaves you ready. Stay ready so you don’t have to get ready.
Going hand-in-hand with fiber supplements is douching. Anal douching or using an enema involves flushing the rectum with water or saline solution. The skin within your body is much more sensitive than the skin outside, so make sure to use room temperature water. Even lukewarm water can be too hot for some people. And, that leads to risking the possibility of burning your rectum or irritating the skin. When, or if, using a shower attachment, making sure the pressure of the water is also important. If the water pressure is too strong, it could reach places that douching isn’t necessary, like the colon. Which would lead to a longer clean-out process.
Depending on your preference, some people prefer douching in the shower or on the toilet. The toilet gives more control than squatting in the shower. Using different solutions to douche, whether it be tap water, saline solution, etc., there are different recommendations for how often to douche or not douche in a week. Most recommendations say to not douche more than three times in once week. This allows the natural lining of the rectum to not be stripped.
Ideally you should douche an hour before anal sex. This period between cleaning and penetration can help your butt recover from any potential irritation incurred from the cleaning process. Remember though, accidents can happen. And that’s perfectly fine—and natural. It comes with the territory. No one is at fault and it’s not a big deal. Just clean up, and if you feel like it, get back into it or try again next time. Communicate and don’t be hard on yourself. However, if your partner gives you any grief about it, they’re the problem. They should understand where they are inserting their piece.
Cleanliness and personal hygiene are just as important as the internal cleaning. Thoroughly washing your butt and anus will lead to a much more pleasurable time for your partner. Body washes are perfect way to add a pleasant smell, or the use of wipes. Everyone has a preference on smell. Whether it’s a natural, manly musk or a sexy cologne that is up to you. But, everyone loves clean and clean is sexy.
Confidence naturally relaxes the brain. And, it comes in all shapes and forms. It could be a cologne or musk that you put on. Or it could be a sexy pair of underwear. Jockstrap. Jockstrap. Jockstrap.
Toys can also help give you a leg up. Both personal use and when your partner uses them on you. Prostate massagers can be incredibly helpful to loosen the sphincter and also figure out how you like your prostate stimulated for anal sex or how hard. Knowing how you like to receive pleasure or what feels the best can increase confidence.
Listen to your body and how it feels. Which is why it’s important to explore your body on your own to understand what places feel the best, which places make you clench, and which make you explode in ecstasy. Bottoming is about connecting on a deeper level. The more you know yourself and your body the more pleasure you will feel and the longer you can go.
The idea of bottoming shouldn’t be daunting. Increase your fiber supplements, do some breathing exercises, wear some steamy underwear. Use lube! Be safe and have fun.