What’s your sign?
Seems like nowadays this is one of the first things we know about a person. Leos are attention whores, Geminis are two sided, Scorpios are to be avoided at all costs, there are a plethora of stereotypes attached to our zodiac personas. But how much of it is true and how does underwear fit into all of this (pun intended)? Those are great questions, keep asking questions, keep being curious, that’s so important. Well horoscope hunnies, here at Underwear Expert, we are all about finding the best fit for you regardless of your sun, moon or rising. This is your astrological guide to the best pair fit for you!
We all have that “responsible friend”, the mom of the group. You know, the one who always has an extra mask, hand sanitizer in their bag, always has extra stars left in their Starbucks mobile app. Chances are, they are probably a Capricorn. Just like the earth, they are sturdy and dependable. While they do appreciate attention, they would rather be respected than admired. A Cap would probably feel most comfortable in the “old reliable” of men’s unmentionables, the trunk. Nothing too revealing, nothing too conservative. We recommend Capricorns add some brightly colored trunks to shake up their normally rigid routines or (earth) shake things up and try something like a jockstrap!
Known to be overly romantic, Pisces may try and love bomb you like a Taylor Swift relationship. No shade to Taylor, we are proud swifties here at Underwear Expert. Just like a fish, Pisces are happiest when they are submerged in something. Perhaps an oversized hoodie would be the best fit for our fishy friends. While we do sell hoodies here at Underwear Expert, we are here to talk underwear. The next best thing would be a boxer brief. Something soft that will help them feel supported and covered up.
The hot headed ram. Just like the animal, an Aries loves to prove their strength by butting heads (metaphorically of course). Highly competitive, honest and direct, these rams are ready to defend their opinions to the death. They are going to tell you why the Sex and the City reboot is the best show out right now, regardless if you agree or not. Our merino men need underwear that is as bold and brave as they are. Perhaps a jock is the best fit for an Aries. Something that will support their cheeks just as much as they support their opinions and ideas.
Just like the one hit wonder O-Town states, Tauruses “want it all or nothing at all”, there is no in between. Does this mean a either long john or commando? Not quite. Taurus are stability addicts, they thrive in routine and are committed to their own comfort (we love a self care moment). They are very materialistic, the more things they have, the more stable they feel. Tauruses are the Pokemon trainers or the zodiac world, they want to catch them all! While they would most likely have one every style, their need for structure and comfort would make their best pair fit a trunk. Tauruses are most likely to do our three pair a month option to accumulate as many options as they can! A Taurus can be a bit stubborn and set in their ways so changing up your underwear style can provide a nice break from their normally rigid routine!
Yeah, that’s my twinnem, we’re killin’ em! Gemini, the twins, are naturally known for having two sides. This often comes with a negative connotation, insinuating that Geminis are two-faced. We at Underwear Expert like to view Geminis as being versatile (who doesn’t love a verse queen?). They are the Hannah Montanas of star signs, the best of both worlds. A social chameleon, they are great at adapting to the environment they’re in. The best pair feel for our good Gemini Judy’s would be a trunk. Their two sided tendencies probably apply to their choice in underwear as well. They probably identify as a brief and a boxer type of guy. With a trunk, they can happily merge the two.
Hard on the outside, soft on the inside. Cancers are like the tootsie pop of constellations. They tend to struggle with vulnerability, are homebodies, and they find comfort in the familiar. Cancers like to know what is next and tend to be less experimental than other signs. A solid trunk or boxer brief is perfect for our Cancer friends, nothing too foreign from what they are probably already used to. They may, however, benefit from getting out of their comfort zones and show some vulnerability with something more revealing, like a jock or thong!
It’s universally known that Leos are a bit vain and love the spotlight. I mean they are ruled by the sun, so why shouldn’t things revolve around them? Other signs may beg to differ. They like to feel important, to make a grand entrance. The obvious choice for a Leo is something that is certain to warrant attention. A bright, neon jockstrap is perfect for these luxury loving lions. A jock will have these fire signs turning heads at this year’s Cherry Grove Underwear Party!
Known for being perfectionists. You already know their underwear drawer has been organized as if Marie Kondo did it herself! They are very intelligent, modest and introverted. They probably won several superlatives in highschool, like most likely to succeed and thought it was undeserved. A neat and clean look is perfect for these meticulous, manscaped maidens. Something like a boxer brief. Although, it may be time these wallflowers get a little bit more attention. A jock in a wild print might shake up their normally pristine top drawer!
Libras are all about balance. They see both sides of every story. Natural mediators, they are always looking to meet in the middle. They may come off contradictory to other signs, but it is not hypocrisy, they see the value in every opinion or viewpoint. Libra’s are very into aesthetics, their Instagram feed is most likely perfectly curated. The perfect pair fit for a Libra would be something right in the center of the spectrum, a brief or a trunk. A solid color or very simple print to go with their curated online presence.
The guy you know you shouldn’t be dating but you date anyway. Dark, mysterious, distressed leather jacket wearing. You’d definitely lie to him that you smoke cigarettes socially when you drink to impress him, only to almost vomit on his perfectly thrifted shoes. Yeah, he’s probably a Scorpio. Deeply passionate, loyal and the realest of all star signs, Scorpios make beautiful lovers and great friends. The perfect fit for our steamy scorpions would be something revealing like a thong. There is an element of underlying danger in the most delectable way.
Jockstraps and boxers and briefs, oh my! If you’re a Sag, chances are your underwear drawer has every single style Underwear Expert has to offer, as you are one of the more adventurous signs. Sagittarians are known for being friendly. A great plus one for any occasion. The type of person you can bring to a party where they only know you but you don’t have to worry about them. They are going to make friends with ease. While a Sag has probably explored every style, their top drawer should be filled with jocks. Something bright and to match their magnetic personalities.
The self proclaimed weirdos of star signs. I mean, a water bearing air sign? That’s an anomaly in itself! Aquarians believe normalcy is boring or overrated. They are honest, imaginative and value personal freedom above all else. What could be more freeing or out there than a thong? Aquarians would find their best pair fit in a patterned thong. It may be worth adding a couple jocks to the top drawer to offer a little more support and structure, without stripping them of their freedom.
Whatever you sign, Underwear Expert has everything you need to shine like the star(sign) that you are! Shop these items and more at our store here!