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OK, we have to be honest: Rod Stewart isn’t coming. We talked to some people who talked to some people who claimed to be his people and you know how the music industry is. But that doesn’t matter because we’ve put together an INSANE list of the 25 best songs about underwear. We’ve got songs about it, songs that mention it, songs that sing it, shout it, and croon it. Best of all, if you make it all the way to the bottom we’ve got a special guest in store for you. Trust us, you don’t want to miss him — we’ve already said too much.
Without further to do here are THE 25 BEST SONGS ABOUT UNDERWEAR! 1 – 2 – 3 -4!
HONORABLE MENTION: The Underwear Song, by Wheelie
The Lyric: The whole damn song.
Who the #!@^ is Wheelie?! Yeah, we’ve never heard of them either but the name of the song and the ridiculous video got them a spot. Some people will do anything for our adoration.
#25 Depends, By Blink 182
The Lyric: I don’t have a care / because there’s not a load in my underwear
Real nice fellas. Real nice. What year did you write that song? 199-what? I think that’s what is called foreshadowing.
#23. Wild Wild Life, The Talking Heads
The Lyric: I’m wearing fur pajamas …
Well, it was the 80’s and manscaping wasn’t a thing yet. Comfy and gross. David Byrne: you are the best.
#22. Plastic Palace People, Scott Walker
The Lyric: Over the rooftops sails Billy / A string tied to his underwear
So, let’s get this straight. There were balloons big enough to carry a boy, wedgie style, “high over the rooftops.” Man the 60’s were awesome, no one cared about child safety at all! We could have had so much fun.
#21. Time The Avenger, The Pretenders
The Lyric: You were standing at the station / in your briefcase / was your aftershave and your underwear
Chrissie Hynde must be a psychic. We DO keep our underwear and aftershave in our briefcase. Where else are you supposed to keep it? Huh Pretenders? Where?
#21. Running Around, The New York Dolls
The Lyric: You’ve got flesh colored underwear
Leave it to the Glam Gutterpunk Kings to come back on the scene and remind us what real fashion is. Thanks to this tip we went out and bought like ten pairs. Thanks New York Dolls. OK, we’re gonna go take a shower now.
#20. What Comes Around, The Beastie Boys
The Lyric: Rapunzel, Rapunzel let down your hair so we can get into your underwear
Ok, so technically they are talking about Rapunzel, but it was the early 90’s in New York City and they were rapping in New York City. There’s NO guarantee that Rapunzel was who they thought she was.
You’ve made it this far?! We’re going to take a mellow turn now – like a set break – but keep trucking and you’ll get to meet our surprise guest! AND NO CHEATING… cheaters!