CHAPTER THE FOURTH
Hansel woke up strapped to a gurney, naked. The salesman stood above him, rotten and crooked teeth smiling as he slathered Hansel’s body with lotion. His brother was passed out on a dog bed in the corner, a slave to the too-tight underwear.
“What are you doing?” asked Hansel, his skin cool underneath the aloe and coconut lotion.
“Making underwear of course,” said the salesman. “I’ve spent my whole life looking for underwear that feels just like real skin. And finally, I’ve found a way to make it happen … with your skin!” He cocked his head back and laughed maniacally.
“You’ll never get away with this,” said the captive Hansel. Indeed, he was right. Because his brother had managed to get the underwear off, grab a bottle of starch from the chemical shelf (every evil outlet has one) and dumped it all over the salesman who went immediately stiff.
Hansel freed Hansel from the table and they ran off into the woods.