Fairy Tales: Hansel and Hansel

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THIS IS THE THIRD CHAPTER

Night fell quickly, and without any blinking strobe lights, the forest was really dark! The twins were definitely lost, definitely scared, and really really hungry.

“THIS IS YOUR FAULT!” Hansel whined.

“No way! It’s YOURS!” replied Hansel.

They slapped at each other, kicked and bit and shouted. They tumbled down the path until suddenly they saw it.

Rising above the trees, in a large clearing, was a huge building. Search lights circled the dark skies above it. Budha Bar Volume IV music blasted from speakers. The walls were color blocked and the building’s edges had a bright neon piping. This was the outlet, no doubt!

Hansel and Hansel ran toward the outlet, squealing with glee.

Inside, the walls were covered in camo wallpaper. There were so many different varieties of underwear they wanted to throw up! LIKE, TOTALLY BARF WITH EXCITEMENT. They were speechless.

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“May I help you?” A slender salesman appeared out of nowhere.

“Oh, yes,” said Hansel.

“Most def!” agreed Hansel.

“I want to try on the Andrew Christian Peek-A-Boo Breifs and my brother will try PUMP! Big League Boxers.

“But of course,” said the salesman. He disappeared and reappeared in puffs of smoke holding out the requested looks. The twins snatched the underwear from his hands, threw off their clothes, and slid the underwear on.

But their excitement lasted only a moment.

“THIS IS TOO TIGHT!” croaked Hansel.

“I CAN’T BREATHE!” Hansel gasped.

And like that, they fainted to the ground. Right at the feet of the grinning salesman.

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