#10. It Doesn’t Matter To Me, Devo
The Lyric: Listen comrade, I don’t care / If you ever change your underwear / It doesn’t matter to me
But it matters to us. If you don’t change your underwear we’ll whip you. Whip you good.
#9. Those to Come, The Shins
The Lyric: Taken with thought, still prone to care / Makin tea in your underwear
We imagine The Shins, in old boxers, with braces holding up their socks when they sing this lyric. Dunno why. Nostalgia, we guess.
#8. Miserable Lie, The Smiths
The Lyric: I know the wind-swept mystical air / It means: I’d like to see your underwear
Oh, is that what it means Morrisey? You cheeky bugger. Well… okay.
#7. Sure Shot, The Beastie Boys
The Lyric: I Keep My Underwear Up With A Piece Of Elastic / I Use A B*%s*#t Mic That’s Made Out Of Plastic
Congratulations to The Beastie Boys who made it TWICE on this list. And this song not just mentions underwear, but pantyhose as well. Such determination. The sign of true genius.
#6. Dozen Girls, The Damned
The Lyric: he’s alright and he don’t care, he’s got thermal underwear (repeat several times)
To get super meta here for a second. We love this song. But we really love the need to annotate how often we have to repeat thermal underwear when singing the song: Several times. Noted.
#5. Stuck on you, The Briefs
The Lyric: None.
We had to give special space to a band actually called THE BRIEFS. This Seattle Punk Band gets us. And we’re stuck on them.
#4. The Jean Genie, David Bowie
The Lyric: He says he’s a beautician / and sells you nutrition /And keeps all your dead hair / for making up underwear
As far as we’re concerned Bowie is a GOD! After all he invented Ziggy Stardust, The Spiders from Mars, and this weirdo that does weird stuff with your hair. Hairy underwear from Bowie and fur pajamas from The Talking heads confirms it: NYC in the 70’s and 80’s was weird.
#3. I Wanna Be Your Underwear, Bryan Adams
The Lyric: I wanna be your underwear.
It’s a terrible song but he sure hits the nail right on the head. He should have just asked to be all for one and one for all and maybe he’d take him up on his proposition.
The Lyric: a pretty boy in his underwear / if there’s a better reason to jump for joy who cares?
We love the song but with these lyrics and Stephin Merrit’s dark foreboding voice, doesn’t it kinda sound like Buffalo Bob from Silence of the Lambs is singing? Right?
#1. Underwear, Pulp
The Lyric: The Whole Song is Classic. BEST UNDERWEAR SONG EVER! Enough said.
And now, it’s our pleasure to welcome our special guest star. He’s come all the way from 1992 in nothing but white briefs to play the bass for us.