10 Underwear Fails Keeping You Single

If you’re looking to impress a lady, a man, or anyone really, there are some things you need to know. The most important thing being that your underwear should be taken very seriously. We list ten underwear don’ts based on some major underwear fails we’ve encountered to keep you on the straight and narrow.

1. DON’T let your mom buy your underwear. It shows you never grew up and that you don’t care about feeling or looking sexy.

2. DON’T keep ripped underwear. If torn in the right spot, boxer briefs can easily be mistaken for thongs (when
seen above the pant line, for example). Also, it’s gross. This leads nicely into #3.

3. DON’T wear a Mong (a.k.a. Man Thong). Three exceptions: it’s part of a practical joke, it’s part of a dare, your date has a Mong fetish.

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4. DON’T wear loose boxers with loose shorts. You risk a peek-a-boo moment, and no one likes being surprised with a crotch shot during dessert of a first date.

5. DON’T re-wear. Don’t turn them inside out to extend your undies’ life. Don’t grab a pair out of the hamper and spray with Febreeze. Don’t do anything except wear clean underwear. Just don’t.

6. DON’T let just anyone wash your drawers. If your courtship has turned into co-habitation and chores are being divvied out like your mom used to, don’t pass off your dirty underwear. Co-habitation lasts as long as poop stains are kept off the radar.

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7. DON’T go commando. Floppy is not sexy, especially if you’re on a first or second date. Save commando for nights home alone on the couch, or for when you go jogging–the appeal of a commando sighting in sweats could be the one thing you’ve needed to get you the Facebook relationship status you’ve been dreaming of.

8. DON’T wear old-school boxers.  We don’t care that you love Corona.

9. DON’T wear white. You’re just asking for a stain. Restrict white underwear to sexy time only, and please take them off before you break out the massage oil.

10. DON’T take them off and throw them just anywhere. If you’re still in the honeymoon phase, throwing your clothes haphazardly around your date’s apartment is a major red flag.

Photo Credit: Jake Joseph


0 thoughts on “10 Underwear Fails Keeping You Single

  1. RichardB says:

    I am all for the clean underwear everyday approach. And also, make sure that if you’re going out looking for tonight’s amorous escapade to change your underwear. You’ll feel sexier if you do and this can send out those “come hither” vibes big time without you’re having to go through some silly song and dance to convince Mr Right-for-tonight that he should abandon everything and dash off with you to who knows what delectable amorous adventures. And white for sexy times only is a good rule to follow. Perfectly white briefs … yes, very sexy indeed.

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