Operation Underwear: Clothing Nude Statues

Perhaps you missed our post about it, but apparently a replica of Michelangelo’s David (one of the most famous nude statues of all time) was erected last year in Okuizumo, Japan, and now they want to put underwear on it. Yes, you read that correctly, the replica could end up being dressed with a pair of briefs! Now, we here at The Underwear Expert were originally opposed to the idea of tampering with such beautiful, classic art, but after a while you can’t help but wonder…

We came up with a few ideas of what some classic nude statues might have looked like if the sculptors actually intended to dress them in underwear… enjoy!

#5: “Farnese Hercules” in Gold

The Roman copy of the original “Farnese Hercules” by Lysippos could very well be dressed up in this yellow/gold brief.

#4 “Hermes” Gets Handsy

Hermes is essentially the Greek god of transitions and boundaries. With underwear in the picture, what would push the boundaries more than Hermes reaching into his skivvies?

#3 “Victorious Youth” Rocks Victorious Briefs 

The “Victorious Youth” is a Greek bronze sculpture found off the Adriatic coast of Italy in 1964. The statue was cast over 2200 years ago, but it doesn’t look like the “Victorious Youth” would’ve fit in well at the Colby Melvin “Splatter” photo shoot.

#2 “Theseus” and the Black Swim Brief

Although he’s slaying the centaur in this awesome sculpture, Theseus also did a lot of sea travel (being the son of Poseidon and all). A nice pair of stylish black swim briefs really would’ve done the trick for this Greek hero.

#1 “David” in Calvins

As one of the most famous nude statues of all time, a pair of Calvin Klein Underwear briefs might have proved helpful in slaying big ol’ Goliath. This would also mean a famous crotch grab as well. Totally necessary.

What do you think of our brief’d nude statues? Is there any other art you’d like to see underwear’d? Let us know what you think!

For more information on this brand: Calvin Klein Underwear

Photo Credit: The Hellenic Times, Wikipedia


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