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Let’s do a little test. If you’re at home, stand up from your computer, or put down your tablet, and go to your underwear drawer. Now close your eyes, open the drawer, reach in and grab a pair. On three open your eyes. 1 – 2 – 3. Take a look at the underwear you grabbed. How old is it? How long have you had it? How many times have you worn it this month? Are there holes? Are they faded?
Is your pair an underwear fail?
If you said ‘no,’ good for you. You possess style, grace, and composure. May the world shine upon you. If you answered ‘no,’ but that was a lie … your lie just killed an underwear fairy. Shame on you. You did that. YOU.
Obviously there are no such thing as underwear fairies (maybe) but there are some brutal facts our friends at BOXERFY have put together about old or bad underwear.
- 81% of women have dated men with ugly underwear
- 48% of all girls wished their man would get new underwear
- 26% have thrown away old pairs of undies
- 94% THINK OLD UNDERWEAR IS A TURN OFF!
You can’t argue with the hard facts, pal. You need to update your look. Don’t believe us? To prove our point we’ve assembled this list of underwear woes from stories sent in from followers of Underwearexpert.com. Let the travesty begin!
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1. I love baseball. All baseball fans know that changing your underwear during the playoffs could lead to a loss. It’s not dumb luck, it’s serious superstition. I’ve had a pair of underwear since college that i consider my lucky pair. Their nothing special, typical black boxer briefs. Classic. Standard. I should mention I graduated college in 2000. But I’ve worn them to every job interview I’ve had and gotten all of them. Don’t mess with a streak. I had a big promotion coming up so of course I put on my old stand-bys. I’ll admit they are getting a bit thin but I know they’ll get me through. I pull into the parking lot of my office, hop out of my car, and head into work except my pants caught on the edge of the trashcan by the front door. Luckily my pants didn’t rip. But something felt strange. I kept checking my pants for a rip and there was nothing there. I go into the meeting and the whole time I’m squirming in my seat because something feels wrong. I couldn’t sit still. God only knows what my boss was thinking. Right after the meeting, I rush into the bathroom and sure enough, my lucky pair had become so thin that somehow they ripped to shreds inside my pants. I spent the rest of the day really uncomfortable in my ratty underwear. (Mark, Albany).
2. I took a girl home the other week. We met at a bar, hit it off, made each other laugh. It was awesome. We went back to my place and I put on some music and turned down the lights. And we’re doing that thing where both of us are taking off our clothes real slow. This girl is just so hot, right? And I unbuckle my belt and she sees my underwear and literally stops what she is doing and just says “eww!” True story. (Brian, New York City).
3. I want to start by saying I love my mother, but she drives me crazy. I’m an only child and whenever I go home to visit she’s always wanting to do my laundry. I let her do it, not because I’m lazy, but because she feels like she needs to. So whatever. Last month I brought my girlfriend home for the weekend. We’re sitting in the living room having a drink with my dad, talking, and my mother comes in holding up a pair of my underwear. It was not my nicest pair or my cleanest. She says “you need to throw these away. These are disgusting.” I turned bright red. And then my girlfriend says “Oh my god, I’ve been trying to get him to throw those away for months.” Everyone laughed. Except me. (Connor, Los Angeles).
4. I wanted to impress my boyfriend with something sexy. I had this pair of latex underwear that I had bought years ago. I never wear it, but I figured I’d put them on under my clothes and go over to his place and surprise him. I’m heading over and it starts to pour. It’s really raining and I’m getting soaked. And I’m running towards his apartment building but it’s getting harder and harder to run. Apparently the underwear was not actually latex. It was some cheap knockoff material and it was shrinking from getting wet. By the time I got to his place it was so tight we had to cut it off me with scissors. (Tim, San Francisco).
5. I still have the pair of underwear I wore when I painted my apartment two summers ago. There are a some brown paint stains on them. Let’s just say she didn’t believe my story. (Clint, Chicago).
Want to avoid such disaster? Good. You can make a change by checking in with Boxerfy. They’re here to help. Seriously. You need it.
Want to share your story? Let us know with a comment below or by tweeting @underwearexpert.
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