Introducing the Liquid Lap Dance

by Christopher Hernandez

Every now and again, we are introduced to a product that revolutionizes the way we see underwear. For instance, edible undies brought food into the occasion because who doesn’t get hungry when he or she is laying in bed. The jock brief made the decision of choosing whether to wear a jockstrap or brief rather easy. When Durex decided to come out with a long distance vibrating underwear, long distance between partners wasn’t so bad any more.

Liquid Lapdance is bringing forth a new line of lap dance underwear that will keep you dry and lubricated during your run of the mill weekly lap dance. There isn’t any product information about whether the underwear is modal or cotton. No information as to whether it is a jockstrap or brief cut is available on the site neither. All that is clear is that for just 19.95, you will be in the possession of an underwear that has a soft latex extension in the front to “caress and stimulate the male anatomy” during your lap dance.

In all seriousness, we couldn’t tell you if this was a serious product or not, but the story has been picked up by Jezebel and Complex.com. If you decide to check out the vague site for the underwear, you’ll come across a semi-NSFW video of a girl gyrating on a guy during a lap dance. The first thing that came to mind when watching this videos was, “Where is this guy getting a lap dance? Pretty sure that’s illegal.”

Any ways, out of all the necessities of underwear such as support, shape, and comfort, we would never had thought that we would need an underwear design where we could safely and discreetly jizz our pants during a lap dance. Also, who wants to walk around in latex and jizz all day? Sorry. Not about that life. I’ll stick to my 2(x)ist briefs. I will also continue to stay clear of extreme lap dances. If not for the sake of dry underwear, at least for the sake of not having a police record.

What are your thoughts on lap dance underwear? Chime in with your thoughts in the comments below or by tweeting @underwearexpert.

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